Tuesday, June 12, 2007


Politicians From Hamas and Fatah Parties in Harsh Campaign

Recent reports from that bastion of Arab democracy, the pride of former US President Jimmy Carter, the Palestinian Authority, indicate that the race between the duly elected Hamas party and its rival, the moderate Fatah party, is heating up. The campaign trail, as many politicians know, can be murder.

Why, just yesterday (Monday), Fatah candidates launched a scathing attack on Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh (Hamas), attacking both his domestic and administrative positions. Emphasizing their dissatisfaction with the current Hamas administration, Fatah politicians bombarded the Prime Minister with harsh criticism, but Haniyeh was not available for comment.

However, the new Fatah attacks did not develop in a vacuum. The previous day, both Hamas and Fatah politicians were involved in some serious "spin doctoring," but in the end, all the competition only caused leading members from both parties to fall drastically in the eyes of the voting public.

Not willing to leave the field to their rivals, Hamas party PR consultants advocated a response to what they felt was a dirty Fatah campaign tactic. Hamas politicians didn't waste time and by the late morning today, they too had peppered the office of PA President Mahmoud Abbas (Fatah) with a trenchant reply to his party's earlier political moves.

Also this morning, organized protests by vocal Hamas party supporters outside the home of a representative from the Fatah party led to very heated arguments between supporters of the two democratic factions. According to just one anecdote from the campaign trail, a woman in Gaza City was so inconvenienced by politicians vying for her support that she was forced to permanently alter her daily routine.

Aside from issues related to foreign affairs, certain dedicated Hamas candidates have also staked out a position on the Fatah party's failed hospitalization policy. Breaking long-standing PA parliamentary protocol, they have gone so far as to call anyone who opposes them a "traitor."

Fatah party spokespeople indicated that they were prepared to take their campaign on the road, to Judea and Samaria, in order to convince voters there not to lend their support to Prime Minister Haniyeh's party. Their main campaign strategy in Judea and Samaria, Fatah political advisors said, would be to completely "eliminate the competition." They feel that can easily be accomplished with some well-placed public advertising and, with an eye to the hip Ramallah voter base, possibly some killer street theater.

Meanwhile, in Israel, clashes among rival gangs continue. Militants led by the warlord Ehud Barak appear to have succeeded in crushing their rivals from the Ayalon camp. This was made possible when Barak struck a temporary alliance with the ruthless terror leader Shelly Yechimovitch. However, armed men loyal to Ami Ayalon are continuing to make their presence felt, sniping at Barak faction leaders whenever the opportunity presents itself. As of now, the bloodthirsty campaign continues.

In a parallel clash, octogenarian godfather Shimon Peres is strong-arming leaders of rival armed groups to join him in a jihad for control of the Israeli regime. Peres, however, is facing tough competition from Reuven "Ruby" Rivlin's coalition of tribal clans. The Laborite clan leader Colette Avital is in hiding from the deadly Peres, but Peres's relentless gunmen appear to be on Avital's trail as of Tuesday morning. Avital is in particular danger ever since arch-terrorist Yechimovitch abandoned her to join with warlord Barak. We'll have more on that story as it develops.

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