Friday, May 25, 2007


Star Trek, Noah and Ismail Haniyeh

The IDF has publicly informed all Hamas terrorists how to activate an anti-IDF force field that is more powerful even than the one around the starship Enterprise. That force field would inevitably fail in every other episode of the Star Trek television show, only to be repaired in the nick of time by Chief Engineer Scott.

But the force field that the IDF spokesperson granted to the Hamastanian enemy is infinitely more reliable and effective.

As reported by my colleagues at Israel National "Following a missile hit in the vicinity of Palestinian Authority Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh's home in the Shati neighborhood of Gaza City, an IDF spokeswoman said that 'Haniyeh’s home definitely was not the target.'"

"Definitely." That little word says so much. It says, "Oh no. We would never even think of harming Haniyeh or his lovely house! Oh, no, no, no. Don't be silly."

So now, much like in the story of the Biblical Noah, any animal will know that he or she can find refuge in the "ark" of Haniyeh's home.

I understand that Haniyeh's wife is to start renting beds on the second floor of her house to wanted terrorists seeking a rest from a hard day of shelling Sderot schools. Maybe it will become the new Arafat-style Mukata. Remember that? It was the "headquarters" where wanted PA terrorists hid out with their PLO Godfather, enjoying his beta-version anti-IDF force field.

But if a Palestinian Authority terrorist is not fortunate enough to live near Ismail Haniyeh or the Mukata, he can always grab any child within reach and go on with his business appointments completely unmolested (which is generally less than can be said for the child). This method apparently works wonders for keeping those pesky IDF helicopter gunships away.

As reported in the Jerusalem Post last year, the PA terrorists "'cloak' themselves in women and children and families. There can be a situation where for days we know a terrorist is in a certain place and we don't attack him... We feel that he's in a place that could be problematic. There are at least 10 operations we don't carry out for every one that we do," [Israeli Air Force Chief Eliezer Shkedy] said.

They "cloak themselves"? Like the Romulans, also from Star Trek?

The difference between Star Trek and life in the Middle East, of course, is that one is filled with bizarre creatures in outlandish costumes who are constantly threatening the future of the universe, and the other is a TV show.

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